Friendship to dating
You will not be serious friends with someone whose core values are at odds with yours.But you might find yourself lusting after someone only to find out later is a racist or a tax cheat or a liar… Think about the happy hours just “being” with your best friend? In any relationship—if there is even a sliver of dishonesty, there’s a problem.We are always well put together, well behaved, and well mannered.Of course, we should consistently try to be these things as often as humanly possible, but the fact of the matter is that we are all going to have bad days. Life throws us curveballs – and expecting a shining exterior every second of every day is not only unrealistic, but it is also dishonest. How are you going to survive your 4-hour drive in the car together? We need this type of comfort to just be able to sit with each other in silence and not feel a nagging urge to say or do something to break the silence. It’s not like you are going to choose a random person off the street – but what’s more is that your friends know how you think and you know how they think.When the giddy rush of chemicals that flood the body during “new love” subside to more normal levels, friendship will be an anchor.When you face difficulty, as a couple or an individual, the respect and trust of friendship will be what carries you through. With your true friends you have relationships that include all the following factors: Even if your lists of “best things ever” are not identical, you have common ground between you—from favorite sports or hobbies to parenting styles…and anything in between.It doesn’t matter when you roll over in bed with no makeup on, a fever, and swollen eyes – a will love and take care of you just the same. These questions are never concerns when it comes to spending time with a friend, because it doesn’t matter comfortable in any relationship, no matter how long we are together. This type of comfort only exists when a friendship is built, not when we spend our time trying to impress each other and not showing him or her who we really are. Let’s say, for example, you are invited on to a game show and are required to choose a teammate, but you are not allowed to pick a family member. You can work together and balance out each other’s strengths.Someone who is just in it for the sex or as a fling, will not. You’re getting together with your best friend this weekend – oh no! If this happens, eventually we transition over into complacency, and that is territory which is void of energy, romance, or excitement. The reality of it is that this can be the case in much of life.
Todd knew when he first met Rebecca that he was attracted to her, but he tucked that away because she was unavailable.We cannot fall into this trap, but there is also a good kind of comfort. The good kind of comfort is essential to being honest and open with each other. You will be faced with problems and challenges that you need to figure out Even regular everyday tasks like piecing schedules together and figuring out who is going to pick the kids up from soccer practice which day, who will have dinner ready, and who will get the dog to the vet – become a giant puzzle that two people need to work together to solve. Let’s be real about this – someone who will always just smile and nod will never be honest with you when you need them to.They will never be able to give you constructive feedback or say anything that would hint you don’t have every aspect of life completely figured out. You don’t win because if you wish to genuinely improve in an area of life and he or she always tells you everything is fine, you can never grow.What are some clear benefits to you when you are friends first?Because the honeymoon stage in any relationship is fleeting, you will have the stability of your friendship to sustain you into the future.